Pilachi_Sketch [ BLOG ]

Wow. I just read the most revealing sketchbook of my life; no pun intended. In this sketchbook, I was coming to terms with many of the themes that I am currently addressing in this blog—obsession, abusive relationships, being overwhelming in interpersonal relationships, vanity, deprecation, sleeping for days—and a host of other behavioural patterns… oh, and dreaming… and talking about dreaming.

The sketchbook was very short; half the size of my usual sketchbooks, and covers the period of time in which I lost a very significant relationship / friendship; started a very destructive relationship; travelled to the US to make peace with ex girlfriends; grew completely and overwhelmingly obsessed with the egyptian girl who i barely knew… then flew back to Jamaica three weeks later [meeting the young lady who would later be my wife.]

Also in this is the description of the conversation outlined in “a little bit much,” the connection with an older woman through dance, that became a pseudo-relationship… again too obsessive. All while trying to come to terms with who on earth I am.

Now eight years later, how much has really changed in me, my expectations and my behaviour? I would hope that I have changed a lot; but in may ways, I am still doing the same things.

“You cannot plant corn and expect to reap peas.”

- Jamaican Proverb